God’s Salt & Light

Its been a while since i last blogged. Kinda weird feelings again. This is very very unusual of me. Its near exams. And im no where prepared frankly. Erm, sometimes i get tat lost motivation to study. I wonder if its me or somethings else.

And yet, im supposed to be trembling wit fear and anxious, yet im not. Wonder why. Gods peace probably. But will He give peace to ppl who dont do work properly? I mean, im kinda lost. I knw He will guide me back. Bro n sis in Christ, do help me yah.

Well according to Jason Wong(who has started calling me Pinarello…which i dont mind actually) either im the sprinter or marathon runner in studies. Well i am a marathoner physically but i tink i do the 100 dash in studies. If Asafa Powell is 9.79……mine will be much faster than him, but its a risky business i might fall along the way.

Anyways, another thing i seem to not understand (and no one else in this world) is Gods yearning to always reconnect. He’s so persistent in that. No one is as persistent as God when it comes to relationships. MY spiritual walk has been OK only to be honest. But always for the past 1 month i went to service on Sunday….God still touches my heart. I end up in tears…….

Today’s Praise Celebration (2/9/07) was the most "hardest hit" when i seem at my lowest point. I tot tat God wud want to teach me a lesson (aka a good "smiting" or "backlashing" of my spirit) maybe tru Pastor Davids preaching. I tot it will be a word tat will cut into my soul divide my spirit and make me feel so guilty tat i will repent (tat kinda feeling which is never really enjoyable… :P).  Today Ps david talk abt praises and worship…..coming to the Holy of Hollies……which is the very presence of God when we worship.

*Heres wat it feels like in my interpretation to be in the presence of God.  Alright, imagine the Agong came to your house and standing in front of u right now. How wud u feel? Nervous? In awe? Shaking? Fear? Tremble? Speechless? You feel like u have nothing u can do but  bow down and probably utter some of those Royal formality mumbo jumbos. Well thats in the presence of the Agong. In the presence of God, u get 10 to the power of 1,000,000,000,000 of tat feeling. Its indescribable. And u will feel even more powerless on what u shud do. Well, rest assured God wont chop of ur head if u say something wrong. After all, He’s caring and loving.   

Well today, God was present. Surprise! Caught me off guard and i just broke down and shed tears for a good 5 minits. This crying is not a crying of sadness. Its a crying tat says "God is here and He is in me still". The song written by Henry Seeley (Planetshakers) "Take Me" was such a song tat spoke to me today.

And i found myself tat i miss God all this while. Just tat i havent talked much with Him. 

After service i still felt the "aftershocks" of God’s presence. He is after all, God =)

I hope God helps me this time in my exams. Erm, although it seems im relying and depending more on Him rather and doing less on my part. But James 1:5 is still in me. "For those who lack wisdom and asks for it, God shall give to him liberally without reproach." But still i have to do my part…..hope is enough. Gods grace is always sufficient for me. I wud really want to do well in this semester exams.  I need that cushion so tat i can fall on IF anything happens. Im not sure if God is working something in me and my life. Things just seem out of perspective at the moment.

Holy Spirit dont leave me. Forsake not my soul for i cry out from my heart and my soul who thirts for the living God.

God Bless those whom I care and love always.
- darrenZ -

This entry was posted on Sunday, September 2nd, 2007 at 10:03 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.